Tips for Writing Your Own Vows

Writing your own vows can feel like a daunting task but I promise you, it will be completely worth it on your wedding day as you’re reading them to your soon to be husband/wife. We’ve made a list of some ideas that can help you get started! 

Write down all your thoughts: getting started on writing your vows is the hardest part but once you get started, all of it will flow after that. To help get you started, make a list of all your thoughts; your favorite memories together, places you’ve met and gone on dates, quirky things you two share, inside jokes, what you love about your partner, etc. This will help your mind start to reminisce! 

Keep it personal: the best part about writing your own vows is that it’s completely personal to you! I love me a good rom com and romance novel but keep the quotes and cliches to a minimum. Instead, share a story about the time you fell in love with your partner or a specific time when you looked at your partner and you KNEW they were the person you were going to spend the rest of your life with. Or, tell a funny story! Lighten the mood by sharing a funny or embarrassing story that is monumental in your guys’ relationship like the first time you farted in front of each other.

Don’t forget to say I LOVE YOU. It seems simple but a lot of people get wrapped up in everything else that they forget to say that most obvious thing.

Make promises: the definition of a “vow” is literally a promise to do a specified thing. Make promises that you want to keep in your marriage. For example; promise that if you cook your partner will clean. Promise to always fold your dirty socks right side out if your partner is the one who does the laundry (my biggest pet peeve). Promise to always make an effort to keep the spark in your relationship alive even after your old and grey. Promise to try your hardest on the most difficult days of your relationship. Promise to always continue dating each other after you are married. 

Acknowledge that things will get tough: life will throw you curveballs, especially ones that will affect your marriage. In your vows, recognize that things will get hard and promise to support your partner during those hard times and briefly explain what that might look like. 

Be on the same page: something that could help with the nerves when writing your vows is chatting with your partner briefly about what you want them to look like. Talk about whether you want to keep your vows serious or if you want them to be light hearted and funny. Some couples choose to write their vows together and promise the same things. Are your vows 3 pages long and your partner is half a page? Make sure you’re OK with that. This tip is not a MUST but if you are feeling anxious about some of these things, don’t be afraid to talk about it. 

You and your partner may choose to exchange vows in private rather than in front of your guests if you are having them– this can add another level of intimacy and help them feel more meaningful when it’s just the two of you. 

Keepsake: Wondering how you can save your vows or what to do with them post wedding? Consider writing or printing your vows on a special kind of paper so you can frame them afterwards or purchase a personalized book that you can write your vows in. You can also have them printed on a canvas so that you can hang them up in your bedroom or in your home somewhere! 

Presentation: Writing vows in our phone makes sense since we know we will always have it with us. It’s totally okay to write your vows down in your phone but make sure to transfer them to REAL paper for the ceremony! This can be in a little notebook, a vow book, or even a loose piece of special paper. The reason for this is so that in photos, it doesn’ t look like you’re texting or looking at emails while you read your vows during the ceremony. Trust me, you’ll thank me later :).